Countdown to Surgery

It’s two days before surgery. Today was the first Breast Cancer Support Group group since I was diagnosed and it’s dumping rain...apparently no one knows how to do life when it rains. Even though I didn’t sleep much last night I woke up feeling amazing! Ready to conquer my last few errands before surgery, ready to go to th support group and meet fighters and survivors! I got up , got my daughter to school, ran to target, metmy friend who was going to clean my house and off I went again! Seriously the most energy I’ve had in weeks. Slightly nesting like...

Half way to the group, I start crying. Like what the fuck? I was totally fine two seconds before !

I pull up to the group location , dry my tears and walk one is there, not one person , just the social worker and me. No one to ask advice from. No one who knows my struggle, no one like me. the Social worker has seen it all but never felt it. Never really understood it. I’ve seen people die from this, I’ve seen their fear, but I never really understood  it, never really felt it, never knew the depth of it.

How can this women help me? I didn’t leave but I didn’t do much but make myself feel worse. I just said all th things I’ve been saying.  Went over all the things I already knew. She couldn’t help me, she couldn’t advise me, she couldn’t share her story. She was nice but it wasn’t what I had hoped for. I was hoping meeting someone who had already had surgery seeing them in person would help me feel less anxiety about Wednesday. I’m just hoping I sleep tonight!



Gemma sent you a hug.
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I am so sorry, what a disappointment. You were hoping for so much more. Since my husband has cancer I was going to go to caretakers support group. As it turned out, just a few women attended and their husbands were already in a nursing home with Alztimers. This was not helpful to me and I don't attend any group now. I have gotten my questions answered here on this site more so than from any other source. They also allow private messaging on this site so there is also a lot of activity that you will not see on the home page.

You have posted a lot about your experiences, but if you ask questions about treatments, medications etc, in my experience people jump right in with responses. This is an awesome group.
So sorry no one was there for you......but we are here for you ❤️
Best of luck to you on your Surgery.....I had mine the day before my Birthday. The nurses were all like "Oh! Tomorrow is your Birthday, you'll be Cancer Free.' but I was like "Oh yeah, w00 Hoo..happy birthday to me, here's your cancer." ....but they were right, it was the Best Birthday Ever. Surgery was a Long day from 5 am to 7 Pm when they finally let me go home....walking into the hospital was like walking the "Green Mile" well described by the nurse who took me to pre-op....I had two other tests done that day which made it so long....when they finally put me under anesthesia it was the best feeling ever....I didn't have to think. Days after I took one day at a time....I always thought positive....nothing was going to bring me down....just know that you are not alone, I too never went to any support support was myself, my friends/family....and chemo angels. (sign yourself up for Chemo Angels and they will send you two angels to cheer you on.) I have been an angel for years, and it's a wonderful group. You will receive cards, letters, and gifts of encouragement. Sleep well my friend, and feel free to ask any questions you want.
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Vital Info


January 6, 2018

Click Here

Santa Rosa, California 95407

September 27, 1983

Cancer Info

Breast Cancer

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma

December 6

Stage 2

1.1 - 2.0 cm

Grade 3





The unknown. The helplessness. The guilt of knowing my genes could be passed to my daughter.

That I love life but mostly That I love MY life.

Encourage me!

Their time!

Stay active!

Don’t sweat the small stuff!

Lumps on breast. Breast feeling like it was lactating or tingly. Nipple tingles and sometimes feeling like sharp pains through nipple.


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